So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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