YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
