Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
