"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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