And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
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