She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
