I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Randomize
