I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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