but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize