Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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