it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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