why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
