Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
