I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
someone threw a dead crab at me
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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