i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
