whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
