K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize