just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
