Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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