Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
