I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
