Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
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