So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Is it penis luge time yet?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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