Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
