it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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