OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
