I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
