i may or may not be watching the land before time
fuck your aforementioned shoe
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
