You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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