Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
