Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
