why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize