Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
