i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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