he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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