His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
