i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
