Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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