hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
