I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
