we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize