so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
