Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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