Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
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