Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
