Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Bring me that man meat
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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