Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
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