The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
