I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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