where am i from again
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
