this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
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