I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
