Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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