My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
