she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
