please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
