you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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