I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
