Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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