so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
