Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
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