I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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