i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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