I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
