she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
handjob tips. give me some.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
