apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
