you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
