I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
