now i know why i became what i already was.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
my nose is crying tears of wow.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
