it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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