I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Randomize
