If that was your dad, he is hot
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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