i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
