Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
