We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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