yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
