Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
can u get pink eye on your cock?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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