i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
The Olympian is in my bed
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
