You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
