That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
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