My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
