We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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