How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Randomize
