It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
