Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
