...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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